One Last Ride

Our family dog Toby passed away yesterday after 14+ years of making our lives better with his bold and charming presence. My dad was the one to bring him home to us all those years ago, and yesterday he was the one who took him on his last ride. Nothing will ever replace the bond they had, so I'm immortalizing it the best I can in words (though there's never enough).

Rest easy, Toby. We miss you so much bud.

Joyride 

do you know what I think

is the best feeling in the world?

going on a joyride

with you.

the simple pleasure of the

world passing by in shades of green

morning sun shining down

while your arms hold me is

 

better than

a fresh bowl of chicken and rice

cool grass on a summer night

sweeter than 

peanut butter from a spoon

long naps in the afternoon

warmer than

movies by the crackling fire

your arms as they lift me higher

higher than my hands can reach

farther than my feet can leap

I grow tired of running

my days of walking are

crawling to an end

all I want now is for you to 

lift me

carry me

take me

on one more joyride

with you.

For Mom

 

we get it from her

This year has been A Lot, and I wanted to try putting into words how I feel about my mom and the choices we all make in this life, specifically the choice to keep moving on despite it all.

It's no secret I've struggled for years with undiagnosed mental health issues, and with that, there were times I struggled with suicidal ideation and even made attempts to end my life. 

But I'm still here, and every day I choose to keep going. Not just for myself, but for my mom who has constantly chosen me when some would have walked away.

 So here's to you mom. Having you in my life is a privilege I don't take for granted. 

Thank you for choosing us.

By Choice

not everyone is so lucky

so privileged

to have a mom

like you

who chooses them

everyday

above all else

who rides out the bad 

days

months

years

not knowing if the storm will pass

(but hoping it does)

who takes a chance on every moment

that what they say

what they do

will help their child

be better

do better

live better

(to survive)

nothing is guaranteed

in this life

in our life

every day is an anxious amble down an unpaved road

time controlled by the only universal constant

the one we fear to name

but know its name nonetheless

the cut cord that breaks our ties to each other

by chance

by choice

so we prepare for the worst

hope for the best

and try to find sparks of joy

even in the darkest nights

we come into this world

by chance

by choice

by someone who must make a choice

forever make choices

for themselves

for another

by chance

by choice

not everyone is ready

to make choices

to ride storms

to gamble moments

to amble down unpaved roads

like you

Shoutout to Emmett Nahil for editing on this! Check out his site for info on how you can book him for editing and project consultation, and check out his newest Kickstarter for his graphic novel, Let Me Out!